to tell or not to tell...Sex in the city

Posted by trinityuk (155 days ago)

Is Miranda's husband doing the right thing by telling her that he slept with another person?
Just wondering, how many couples out there are willing to tell you partner this 'big secret of yours'?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Tags infidelity

Posted by My Hong Kong (155 days ago)

People that cheat, and who wishes their marriage to continue, do not normally pass this kind of information voluntarily to their partner. Isn't it obvious?

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by flashback (155 days ago)

I can think of a few reasons why someone would 'fess up:
1. they want out, and are giving the other person a 'deal breaker' to make it easier
2. they are getting pressure from the other woman to tell the wife it's over, or it's over
3. they are overburdened with guilt - rare
4. someone else has found out and is going to spill the beans to the wife - or could be the girl has threatened to tell wife - and husband wants to tell wife before she/he does.

In my opinion, one would have to be nuts to tell the other if one wanted the relationship to continue. That's not to say I condone affairs, but I do believe in damage control....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by trinityuk (155 days ago)

lets do a survey, let see how many people other there are willing to confess....
women - 1 - no

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by zonked (155 days ago)

....

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by tigerbay (155 days ago)

Survey
Man - no.

The other reason for people to confess is they get advice from a group of people on a forum who are not tangibly involved so they are often offering an opinion, but not considered advice.

(I am based in Shanghai)

Posted by trinityuk (154 days ago)

its hard to have to bear the guilt for the rest of your life though...if you really treasure the marriage.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ribbons (154 days ago)

Let's look at guilt in another light. If you really treasure your marriage, then guilt over a past indiscretion can have value. Guilt is a healthy emotion, and lets you know that you have values and standards that even when you offend them, you're offended.

You are lucky to have the guilt. It will keep you honest in the future. Don't ruin your life by believing that it's best to tell a damaging truth than to keep quiet.

I never had cause to suspect infidelity on my husband's part, but if he had ever strayed, I'm d*mn glad he had the grace not to unburden himself on me.

It's quite a different matter, I think, if a man or woman is in an on-going affair or is a serial adulterer.

If it was just a stupid mistake, then forgive yourself and protect those who love you and your marriage.

(I am based in Hong Kong)