Loving relationships that lasts for years

Posted by My Hong Kong (566 days ago)

Those of you who are involved (or who were involved) in a long term relationship that is/was a happy reunion – please tell what made your relationship successful. What are the secrets (yes, please do reveal them) that make a relationship bloom and flourish and last for years? How do you maintain the feeling of love after 3 or 5 or 10 years?

I am interested in males and females points of view.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

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Posted by aloneforaday (566 days ago)

its never easy...

imin my first ever serious relationdship and its exciting.. and thrilling at the sme time

we have explosive arguments and annoy each other to the point of madness.. and its fun making up;)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by flashback (566 days ago)

Happily together for 27 years... A few serious moments when we thought we wouldn't make it... Hold on to each other! Never leave. Keep working on it. There was absolutely no abuse - I think that makes the difference. Nothing thrown at each other. Never do that, not even a cushion. Quite a few cross words, but never personal i.e. absolutely no name calling... disagree with each other by all means, never call the other stupid or worse. Respect, respect and respect. Kindness, loyalty. No need to be absolutely honest, but never be unkind. Being honest can lead to unkindness. Best not to say any unloving thing, but give encouragement, hope and understanding, and ask for it as well. Be true to yourself. Your partner ought to love you, not your car, job, or your apartment. I would live with my husband again tomorrow in the back of a truck if it were possible.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by My Hong Kong (565 days ago)

That's a solid advice, flashback. I thank you for that. Hope to hear more thoughts, maybe after the weekend. Sometimes I think that some aspects of relationships should be taught in school. :)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Saikunga (565 days ago)

Aspects of relationships should be taught at home...the school has so many other things to teach.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Justin Credible (564 days ago)

That was fantastic advice...I will pass that on to friends, flashback...

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by ss2007 (564 days ago)

together for 8 yrs now
be yourself and love him for who is . and like flashback said " Hold on to each other! Never leave. Keep working on it""
picking nose, farting burping can be forgiven, its a manthing anyway (i think) haha.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Justin Credible (564 days ago)

Hey, you have no choice on those things...Whether you forgive it or not, guys simply cannot avoid the ol, fart, burp and "smell my armpits" jokes....*SMH*

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by cd (564 days ago)

Agree with flasback. I have been with my husband since I was 15, together 27 years, married for 20, 5 kids... There is no magic formula, we've grown up together, he's my best friend as well as my husband, could not imagine my life without him in it.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by tia (564 days ago)

I agree with flashback entirely.

Be yourself.
Love your partner, flaws and all.
LIKE your partner, even when you are angry with him/her.
Respect them.
Put them first and back them up.
Don't give up
Don't listen to your friends. They don't know EVERYTHING about your relationship.
TALK! For god's sake people, TALK!
Be affectionate and caring.
Remember the little things.
What works for you won't work for everyone else.
Be happy.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ACFHK (564 days ago)

In my experience it works when you:

1. Love everything, change nothing. If you're endlessly trying to change someone you're saying you're better than they are and it causes resentment.

2. Put each other first, no matter what.

3. Talk without trying to outdo each other. Communication is not about winning it's about finding an answer that works for you both.

4. When you're at the end of your rope and absolutely frustrated, ask yourself "Am I wrong about this". You may not be wrong but it may happen more often than you're willing to accept. If you are wrong and are willing to say so, it'll go a long way. Same goes for him.

5. Give each other space.

Ask yourself 'Do I like who I am when I'm with him? Does he make me love myself?"

There will be hard times but don't give up on each other.

It's always worked for me :-)

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by Sapphire (564 days ago)

Ditto to everything that flashback has said. We've been together for nearly 29 years and married for almost 21 years. We argue and we shout at each other from time to time, but we always talk and work things out. Communication is very important, without it you don't stand a chance. Always let each other know that you appreciate them ... it doesn't have to be over kill, like everyday, or expensive gifts, because then you end up taking it for granted it doesn't mean as much ... just the odd word or gesture now and then keeps it real. And if you ever aren't happy with each other for some reason ... never, ever, leave home in the mornings without kissing and saying goodbye ... you never know when it may be the last time. Look after each other.

(I am based in Hong Kong)

Posted by ceeh (563 days ago)

we've been married 41 years and known each other 43 years.

Guess all I can add to what has been written above is:
Don't bring up incidents that have upset you in the past. You may not forget if it has been a trust broken but you can forgive.
Don't nag...
Talk a lot and laugh a lot.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by europe123 (561 days ago)

with my experience, you need to communicate a lot, tip - honesty always pays. also sex life is very important, satisfy each other's needs. last but not least ... discipline (control yourself, dont be unfaithful, dont lie) hard to say, a loving long-term relationship takes hard work.

(I am based in Unspecified)

Posted by joeyclaris7 (559 days ago)

Trust.... Always being the first to say sorry even if you know it's not your fault. I perfectly Agree with Europe COMMUNICATION is key. Respect. you know love him/her when you've learnt to let go of what you fear the most

(I am based in Hong Kong)